July 14, 2010

Put Out More Flags

Today is Bastille Day, the annual national commemoration of the 1789 event during the French Revolution in which, so republican lore tells us, the political prisoners of the cruel and wayward ancien régime were liberated by a freedom-hungry mob. Never mind that the Bastille only held seven inmates — four forgers, two lunatics, and an aristocrat accused of deviancy — and was guarded by soldiers invalided out of normal military service. The day was, curiously, chosen as the national day of the French Republic, a decision which has since been ratified by over a century of tradition.

Central to that tradition is the annual military parade down the Champs-Élysées, in which the armed might of the nation is capably displayed in all its foppish finery. This year’s march was given an extra dose of colour by the presence of contingents from the armed forces of thirteen African nations who celebrated the fiftieth anniversary of their independence from France this year.

While Bastille Day is a purely French celebration, millions throughout the world no doubt had their flags waving high and proud during the quadrennial World Cup, this year held for the first time on the African continent. FIFA, the international agglomeration of football associations, jealously guards the World Cup brand when it comes to merchandise, but capitalist enthusiasts have nonetheless managed to cash in on the event through the sale of non-branded patriotic paraphernalia.

Target, the American mass-market retail giant, was recently the victim of a unique infiltration by the murky and subterranean forces of reaction through its World Cup cashing-in operations. The chain of stores was discovered selling t-shirts emblazoned with the word “SPAIN” across the chest and proudly displaying the Franco-era flag of that Iberian nation. Once attention was drawn to them, the t-shirts were swiftly withdrawn from sale, but experts say untold hordes of impressionable American youths may have nonetheless been influenced towards the authoritarian traditionalist fringe in the meantime.

Speaking of fringe, certain sectors of what we might call the “patriotic” community in the United States have recognised one deviously subtle sign of a foul and dastardly plot to subvert the popular sovereignty and independence of the American people: the gold fringe on American flags. Our putative conspiracy exposers claim that gold fringe is nowhere mentioned in the Constitution nor in the appropriate legislation passed regarding the design of the ‘Stars and Stripes’, but is only mentioned in army regulations. The fringed flag is a military rather than civil symbol, they uphold, and signifies admiralty jurisdiction which has been brought onto land as a surreptitious method of establishing a military dictatorship in the United States. Any citizen who takes part in a legal case in a courtroom which has a gold-fringed U.S. flag is unknowingly legitimising this parallel government that seeks to erase the republic.

While the less imaginative in the audience might be tempted to dismiss these claims, they do reflect a mindset that attributes a certain importance to flags and to the other outward symbols of our countries, governments, and societies. Be it in support of — or opposition to — the French Republic, a World Cup team, or the secret military government of the United States, I hope readers will not miss an opportunity this summer to put out more flags.